The energy is yet again very intense and the desire to tell people off is very strong, but when is the right time to “tell someone off”?
There are times I get incredibly frustrated and have a difficult time trying to figure out what to write because my negative thoughts get in the way of allowing love and understanding to flow through me. I drown myself thinking of my own needs and not understanding the actions of others. Sometimes, I just want to be really, really selfish and only think of myself. That just tends to make me more frustrated because I am choosing to be mad and project my emotions on other people. The emotional projection of my frustrations will go nowhere. Once I feel like I am on the top, I’ve really hit bottom and have nowhere to go for I have isolated myself as the best or better than someone else.
This is not how I want to go to bed or spend my day. So, what should I do? I need to turn towards someone rather than turn away and feel frustrated and alone. I learned this from John Gottman’s book “The 7 principles for Making Marriage Work”. When you are upset, you need to turn toward people, of course, he was referring to your spouse. This can be applied to anyone though because when we turn away from people, we are isolating ourselves and saying the situation is hopeless. The situation is never hopeless. Tell someone off is not the answer. That is just closing a wound on the surface, but the cut will not heal inside. It is instant gratification with long-lasting pain. We are being challenged to act in love at the highest level. We are being asked to forgive ourselves and forgive others. We are being asked to understand each other, put our differences aside, and find the good in all humanity. Think of the alternative. I don’t want to go there. Do you?
So when you are frustrated, turn toward someone. When you are calm and collected, talk about how you feel. Let them help you talk it through and find a solution. Do not be afraid to ask for help. Build bridges between yourself and others that you can cross when needed and they can do the same. Remember a time when you didn’t talk about religion or politics? We are at a crossroads now where people are not even integrating themselves with people who believe other than they do. Families and friends should not be divided because of their beliefs. Obviously, if someone is doing something blatantly wrong, then do find another friend, but send that person love and compassion, not anger. It’s this simple: Act in Love and Be Kind.
So the next time you get frustrated, listen for the answer to this question: What if you tried another way? Turn towards others, rather than away.
Voyage to HEAL Weekly thoughts
Stretch: Trunk rotations so we can turn all directions. Seated in a chair, rotate the easiest way first and hold for 20 breaths. Then repeat on the other side rotating a little bit more with each exhale. Do this seated with one leg straight and the other bent and crossed over or complete this stretch sitting in a chair.
Exercise: Lay on your back. Activate your core. Lift your arms up to shoulder height. Reach one arm up toward the ceiling and then the other. This activates the serratus anterior muscles that help move the shoulder blades. Do this 8x on each side.
Habitual Change: Bring your gaze down a bit. I have come to notice that a lot of people hold their head tilted slightly up. Look in a mirror and see if your chin is up. If so, bring your chin down just a bit.
Perspective Enlightenment: When you get upset with someone do you climb the mountain of frustration? It’s so very easy to do, but so exhausting emotionally. This week, I challenge you to practice trying another way. Slow down. Think. Breath. Find a valley to meditation in rather than climb a mountain to nowhere.
This post coincides with the on-line Voyage to HEAL that takes you through 12 amazing weeks of physical, emotional, and spiritual awakening and shifting to a much happier way of living. Check it out by clicking here.
Godspeed along your Voyage to HEAL